Certain Songs

The Divorced Bachelor..

Any Takers - 32

(COLUMBUS ONLY)

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Date: 2010-03-01, 12:19AM EST

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OK so I am not trying to steal this straight off of the reality TV show "The Bachelor"
There will be no Rose sermonizes or anything like that. However This is what I am looking do.
I am holding a 20 day sign up for my very own personal bachelor competition.

I am a divorced Male 32.
I am 5'6" Tall
I weight a little over 200lbs and when I say a little I mean a little. 207 is the exact number
I have a full time job.
I have my own car.
I have my own place.
I have my own bills.


Criteria for you to enter into this "Divorced Bachelor Competition"
You should have you own car
You should be shorter than 5'7"
Your weight is your weight. I am not picky just searching for someone to spend the rest of my life with.
You should have direction in your life. You should know the road you have been down and want to be down.
You Should NOT be afraid of commitment.
You should be Single. (Married woman or people in the middle of DIVORCE need not apply)

This is What I am looking for.
I am looking for 4-10 ladies who are hopeless romantics that are not afraid to lay it all on the line.
I want to start this Mid to Late March.
I am the Divorced Bachelor.
I am looking to get to know 4-10 ladies for a thirty day period.
At the end of the thirty day period I will choose one of the ladies to propose to (Remember the not afraid of Commitment above)
Now from the proposal step. 25-30 days after that we will have a beach wedding either in Florida or somewhere tropical.

Now some of the Need to Know before replying things
At NO point will there be SEX of any kind before proposing to one of the ladies who enter this "Divorced Bachelor Competition" .
There will be ZERO Trips to my home while this competition is going on.
All dates we have will be PAID BY ME AND BY ME ONLY.

******

Quite possibly one of the worst ideas in the history of dating.


* Liz Phair - 'Divorce Song' MP3

Looking for a concert date - 45 (Galloway)

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Reply to: pers-mfnff-1084732634@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-03-20, 11:37PM EDT


Hi, I am looking for someone that would like to go to see John Test live tomorrow (3/21) night. I won 2 VIP tickets from 104.9 The River and don't have anyone to take with me. We'd have dinner with John Tesh and his band before the concert and then front row seats at Mershon at 7:30 p.m. If you are serious about going please respond and tell me why I should choose you for the ticket/date.

Thanks for reading!

******

Oooh...pick me so I can ask John Tesh if it was worth it - the selling of his soul to the devil to make millions of dollars playing that awful stuff he calls music. Pick you up at 6?


* Liz Phair - 'Explain It To Me' MP3

Sick

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Reply to: pers-989186955@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2009-01-11, 8:29PM EST


As I sit here on the couch with you on the other I really get sick to my stomach. I can't stand the sight of you, when you try to touch me it makes me cringe. I can't wait for the day that we are divorced!

******

Hey, no matter how bad your relationship is - or if its the lack of a relationship that is getting you down - this proves it could always be worse...you could be in this one.


* Liz Phair - 'Divorce Song' MP3

No intro needed...just a beautifully cynical rant

******

dear uterus,

i am writing in an attempt to apologize in advance for the lonely years ahead for you. before you start, let me at least state my case.

you see, i have spent many hours observing all of the things that people do. and the stupidity of humans, as it relates to the upbringing of offspring, is no longer of any surprise to me. the values that humans try to instill in their young are mute in comparison to the volume of their actions.

example: why, why, would you allow your elementary aged daughter to wear a bikini?

the point is not the sexual preditor's out there, but the sexualization of our daughters. what are girls who have no concept of sexuality yet doing in sexualized clothing?

you see, dear uterus, i can not let you begin a little girl's life if a single second of her innocence can be sexually objectified. do not get your hopes up ute, this does not mean that i want to raise a man. i wouldn't even know how to begin reversing the things he would learn during his first day of school.

can you imagine trying to teach a hormonal teenage boy about racial inequality?

a woman's right to choose?

the bush administration?

sigh.

yes, i know, i don't have to do it alone. but you haven't seen what it's like on the other side of those walls(yes, that was a pun). for the most part they are emotionally or mentally handicapped. they were once little boys raised by parents who shouldn't have been parents; by women who should have had the conversation we're having right now.

oh fine, yes, great men are out there, they are doing great things, for great reasons, and not being led around by their dicks. but do you know what they are? workaholics.

yes, i could do it alone. have you any idea how hard it is to find competence in anything? the world is full of mutants; people who consume cheap disposable things for status. people who kill animals for fiscal gain. people who willingly spend hours of their life inside wal-mart.

no, uterus of mine, i am sorry that i will not know of your awe-inspiring capabilities, but it is just not our time.

it is just not our time.

-E

******

Not sure why I thought of Liz Phair's 'Only Son'...but I did...the musical mind wants what the musical mind wants:

Lis Phair - 'Only Son'

The impetus of this post is rooted in in what I saw last night in the usually dull aisles of the local Ralph's supermarket. It was there that I witnessed what has to go down as one of the all time best 'take me home' fights in the history of dating.

These two were having it out right in the middle of the frozen foods aisle. So of course i pretended to be a serious shopper and perused the frozen pizzas for like 5 minutes as they exchanged accusations. When things get that bad at the grocery store, not a good sign. I tell you this from experience. Sometimes, you get to a point in a relationship(SOME relationships)... that even trips to the store end in arguments. I have been down that road, and the view is not so good. When you get to that place that every little thing the person does gets under your skin...get out and save your sanity!

Charles Bukowski says "There are worse things than being alone." And he could not have been more right. I lived with a girl for a year once. Not a wise decision. She was a great person, but not someone I could see myself with for the long haul...I mean she liked the show 'Friends'...NO, she REALLY liked the show friends. I was always dragging her to shows of bands that she had never heard of and she would drag me to some of the worst movies ever made. It was like an ongoing contest of 'who can torture who the best.'

Whoa! This rambling post totally got off track...my mind veers off easily...that ADD kicks in at the most inopportune times. Back to the original fight that I saw at the grocery store...the one insult I heard that had me come home and put this little play list together was the girl screeching '...oh no, if you leave me does that mean I will never get to go spend another saturday night sitting on your couch while you play video games.' She won the fight in my opinion. That comment was the clincher...they were still bickering, but I bolted...you can only pretend to look at frozen pizzas for so long.

So...in honor of her victory, i put together this brief angry girl mix(only 7 songs - i call it the 'Hell Hath No Fury' EP)...with the first song being especially dedicated to that girl I used to live with. I hope she finds her Ross someday.