Don’t ask me why I obsessively look to rock ’n’ roll bands for some kind of model for a better society. I guess it’s just that I glimpsed something beautiful in a flashbulb moment once, and perhaps mistaking it for prophecy have been seeking its fulfillment ever since.
- Lester Bangs
Thank the GODS it is Friday...been a long week of nothing much at all here, if I may paraphrase the Replacements. Music is indeed my savior.
I took a nice, LOOOOONG relaxing walk yesterday after work with the shuffle mode as my guide, all the while making mental notes of the great songs that popped up that I hadn't heard in awhile. Here are the greatest hits from that walk...a quick mix to start your weekend off...enjoy!
I just read this over on Ryan Adams blog...the overall tone of it is just so sad. His music, especially his albums 'Heartbeaker' and 'Jacksonville City Nights', has been a HUGE part of my life. I hope he finds clarity...much love Mr. Adams...and thank you for the endless hours of inspiration/motivation/and beautiful distraction. See ya when the muse kicks back in :-) http://cave.cardinology.com/
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me- 34- a non smoker and happy, for the first time in my life.. i am excited to finish this wonderful time i have had with the cardinals and whatever new adventures may come after march. atlanta will be my last venture with the band and i am grateful for the time we have had and maybe someday we will have more stories to tell together. i am however ready for quieter times as i think it is very evident i am struggling with some balance and hearing issues.
also, no drama or anything but i am okay to step back from all of this right now and i think i did enough manic blogging when i felt alone and isolated during the last few years of travel. these last few years were the hardest i can remember and the most rewarding but i have loved ones to care for now and i am lucky i have been given a chance to turn around and see just what i am capable of as a friend and as someone who is not gone forever every year- it rendered me incapable of things i needed to be to myself and others- and my schedule sometimes never ended when the shows did- and some of that was my doing. and i lost someone i loved, and i lost myself.
that changed. i got to know just who i am in this little spell of time here recently. and change is the nature of the world and i naturally embrace that.
i won’t be blogging here anymore either- but not for effect- it just is not being kind to myself- i need a life that is mine- i need to grow up and grow in to who i have subtly been working back towards since i stopped all that nonsense and i know also no matter what i choose to do in the music world, because i chose to do things my way and never lie i will always be viewed as an “asshole” ( i hear and have seen things in the past) and i am not, and i know the truth and i know who i am.
also it is kind of ridiculous to blog as i am a musician and anything i say here just gets reprinted at some point out of context. i say NOT FAIR but it doesn’t matter what i say anymore or what is fair anymore really does it- the 21st century media has it’s own rules about what is true and what is not. it is not a life- not one i want to live anyway and i don’t really care to participate in narcissistic over-indulgent behavior anymore- that was never my intention- i just wanted to fight for my right to make music and to be given the benefit of the doubt. now, because i have stood up for myself and fought for myself i am labeled all kinds of awful things. well, i will walk away now and it will not matter what anyone say’s. there are other things i can do in this life, other ways to be creative and to try and help others and be expressive without being demonized for attempting to gain the same things any other human being desires- love- friendship- understanding- and being able to express yourself without constant fear of being mistreated for speaking up
i have friends to make, brand new books coming (two of em’ not counting that one already printed and on it’s way out there and i LOVE writing….yay!) and a whole lot of living and learning to do.
i am excited to step away. i lost more than anyone will ever know (hearing, someone i loved, my sense of dignity, a never ending losing battle with stage fright and now my hearing and balance due to an inner ear issue- people accusing me of not being sober when i am suffering tremendous pain and nausea from my inner ear symptoms- people accusing me of theft (THEFT- ….awful) and this is not much of a life, not glamorous like those ridiculous video’s a long time ago television played and no it is not monetarily as rewarding as people would like you to believe and yes, it is soul destroying. especially when you spend your life trying to write about the really difficult stuff and you stand there losing your way and people yell at you like you were in a circus. when it was your dream to matter and you realize one day, it never mattered- i mean, i am a punch-line and a footnote in what is worse to yell at someone besides “free-bird”. i mean, i lost. and it’s okay because i seriously snuck some pretty neat idea’s in there in the work when i was making those mistakes or they were being made by others. this business is no science.
andf you know, whatever this is- it’s not my dream. and it is a punishing thing to endure when you are getting worse and worse- it’s not my dream, my dream was to try and tap into that energy i saw watching Minutemen vcr tapes when i was just a little shit in NC of mike watt’s crazy shaking leg and his electric fingers- or how sonic youth droned into beautiful clouds those guitars shaking, kim and steve rattling the pulsing lines into feverish thudding imaginary subway cars racing through my heart- and how it felt to just let go and static up a riff and find the sweet spot- but getting yelled at for just being a songwriter- to be called so many horrid things because i chose to love music so much, and also to look for peace and balance in my life- that is not kindness and just not my thing. at least not now.
quitting smoking was a good step and i am happy i also am just now beginning to understand how important it is i take better care of myself in every way right now.
anyway, enjoy these shows and know that i am not abandoning anyone and that i loved playing music in the cardinals and hell, even before i was in a place to try and learn to be well, music was my life source-
maybe i will play again sometime but this is the time for me to step back now, and i wish everyone peace and happiness and if music is your dream, or if just dreaming is your dream, may you find your way through the rough patch with ease and i hope you let go and it takes you all the way there-
I'm looking for a LTR with a woman, that can take me as I am. I love rock n roll and my long hair. All my family tells me to cut my hair, and maybe, I'll find a nice woman lol!. I come from big family, my dad is a pharmacist and two brothers that our attorneys and four sisters. I guess you can call me that black sheep of the family. I'm a very kind hearted man. I love and family and friends, and would do anything for them. My mother died last year, and now I moved in with my father to help take of him, and things around the house. I love to go rock concerts, like to hunt. My buddy has a sweet place in Hocking Hills, we go to hunt, camp, relax and enjoy life. I have been at the same job for 18 years, at a factory in Columbus. I'm looking for a nice woman, 35 to 45 years old,kids o.k.,that likes rock n roll, party, likes to have fun, family oriented, employed, takes care of her self and no pill poppers! I have no kids, never been married, only been in a couple relationships my whole life. Life is to short, looking to settle down with a nice woman, and spoil them to death. Are you out thier? Please send pic, love to see who, I'm talking to. Hope to hear from you. P.S. Big time buckeye fan! O-H-I-O !!!!!! Rick
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I just love that he includes: "Woo!Hoo! VanHalen" in his personal ad title...I am really, REALLY rooting for this guy!!
I love reading about who my favorite artists love to listen to. I can't even tell you how many bands I have gotten into from reading some interview of a band I love that mentioned an artist that THEY loved.
Without the aid of an iterview, it can sometimes be a little more difficult to tell what influenced certain musicians. But sometimes, it comes oozing out in song from.
I bought Ryan Adams tickets the other day - always a painless way to throw away money - and I realized it's been WAY to long since I share any of his music. Although not nearly as obsessed as I once was with Mr. Adams....he will always hold a special place in my musical heart.
Why wait for the 4th of July when you get start shooting off fireworks at 11:30 the night before,right?? I am waiting for a roman candle to come shooting through my window any second now and put me out of my misery.
I can't really complain though. Twenty years ago i would have been doing the exact same thing. It's what kids do. And I can't even knock the parents. I had amazing parents,, but we were still SO stupid. I remember getting in bottle rocket fights EVERY year with kids from the neighborhood. How smart were we? "Hey, you know what sounds like fun? Shooting scaled down missles at each other...sweet!"
It's not really as dangerous as it sounds, I mean have you ever shot a bottle rocket? Those things don't have the most sophisticated guidance systems built into them. In fact, in all of my years of playing I think I was the only one EVER actually hit. It hurt. But I wore it like a badge of honor...I was known strictly as 'the kid who survived the bottle rocket shot to the leg' for like three years! I thought maybe the chicks would dig a guy with a combat wound. I was wrong.
You are somewhere out there, I know it, maybe having thoughts of our dear friend Mickey. The catcher with the perpetual wad of chew in his lip. I bet in his retirement he still chews it...and maybe you think of him still Yes my memory sometimes scares me, the details I do remember. I even remember that I never realized I would miss you - miss seeing you everyday. Is that possible? To have a memory of something you should have felt but only did when it was too late? When random events flipped what we had, forcing me to relive every moment I didn't say anything. Of course, the events were not random to you - a marriage proposal only appears that way to an injured party. I wish I had known you were seeing someone else, philosophizing about the world with him like you would with me. I wish I had known before he became your soulmate. Maybe I could have sabotaged it. But probably not. I was confused, shy and full of love that I wasn't ready to share with anyone. He was not. I tried to hate him, tried to feel upset but he was everything you would ever want. I could see that I held out hope that maybe it wouldn't work out. Maybe you would come back. For a while I wasn't ready to share my love with anyone even more. Because, you made it clear, it could have been me. Those words stung more than you will ever know. I still remember how the room when you called became one big background to your words I remember it like I remember when I learned Princess Diane had died - the symptoms are the same But I know you aren't leaving the OH state And though you may not be specifically in Athens, I would not think of posting anywhere else. I only did because I saw the 'Athens' as I floated by on CL I guess you could say I am still a little shy. No one will read this, least of all you. And that is fine with me......but sometimes, I miss the thought of you. I used to miss you. Then I missed hearing from you. Now, it is the thought of you I miss having. I know you are happy and please know I am as well I have learned to share my love. And I learned because of you - because I didn't want to lose someone again before they had become something more to me. Before they became special. And I didn't lose her. And I am thankful I have her. She has a lot of love to give and so do I.
I have a feeling we shall see each other again. But maybe not. Until then.......
Warmest,
That Fool Stanley
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Admittedly, it was a slow day for missed connections. This one just reminded my of this Ryan Adams song, specifically the part where he remembers out loud the some of the thins she does...
' See how she moves through the door How she loses her keys How she loses her cool Watching blackbirds scatter through the trees How she flips from the back to the front Reading magazines Oh, my God, I miss those things'
If classic country singers didn't invent the break up son, then they surely perfected them. And I think Ryan Adams agrees with me. Here he is taking a sad song and making it even sadder...bravo Mr. Adams, bravo.
Ah, today's dedication is a simple, yet familiar one...probably to all of us. Who hasn't gone through a break up and spent WAY too many hours staring at a picture of an ex. It's a brutal rite of passage to be sure. But I know that I have been there, finding some way to will her back into my life, even though I know it would be good for a few days, only to self destruct again.
****** I love this picture of you....
you're somewhere in Europe with your silly bandit crew ...:) I do hope you see this and wink back. I miss you, too baby. G'nite, love
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I didn't post the picture, but I assure you it was heartbreaking. I thought of this Ryan Adams song(nobody does heartache quite like Mr. Adams) the second I saw the title of this missed connection.
Wow...I can't believe this record came out 10yrs and about 150 Ryan Adams solo records ago. Yes, the days of humble, Whiskeytown leading Ryan Adams. Not that I don't love his, shall we say, eccentricities, but sometimes I like my rock stars to shut up and play!
Ok...i am done ranting. All kidding aside, this is such a great LP. I still listen to it every few weeks it seems. I don't ever see myself getting tired of songs like 'Excuse Me While I Break My Own Heart Tonight', 'Losering', and my all time favorite Whiskey song, 'Dancing With The Women At The Bar'...solid alt-country gold they are.
Two songs taped exclusively for the Letterman website here, one of my all time favorite Adams songs 'How Do You Keep Love Alive' and from Easy Tiger, 'Pearls On A String'. Nellie McKay sits in on the second tune.
It pains me to say that my love affair with Ryan Adam's music has waned a bit over the past couple of years. He is still one of my favorites, and his records 'Heartbreaker' and 'Jacksonville City Nights' especially will always be among my all time favorites. But his last two albums have left me less than thrilled, although 'Easy Tiger' is really starting to grow on me.
I am happy to report that I was reminded of just how much I love the guy this evening. I was online looking around for an advance copy of the soon to be released EP 'Follow The Lights' and I found this amazing bootleg called 'The Suicide Handbook'. I don't have a lot of information about it, but based on the track list I am guessing it was recorded soon after 'Demolition' came out. It is a beautiful acoustic set, and he sounds amazing.
Here is a track called 'For No One'...here is a blurb I found from Mr. Adams about the song:
"For No One" almost went on demolition but it would have been like the ninth song about said beautiful trobled actress sweetheart, so im gonna put it on the next album. but maybe. i need to finish it. it need a b-section and also a second verse."
...or my email is anyway! Hey, it's me Blair...the Certain Songs staff of one. I just do this for the love of the music and am in no way trying to rip anybody off, so if you are an artist or a record label and you are not happy that I am promoting your music, or you want me to take a song down, just shoot me an email and I will most definitely oblige.
And please support the artists I post here in whatever way you can if you do download a song...go to a show, buy some merch, buy an album...these songs are the soundtrack to my life and I just love to share them. But I can only do that if the insanely talented artist responsible for said songs are able to eat.
I also love hearing new stuff...so any submissions can also be sent to my email, I will try my bestest to listen to everything and get back to you all...peace,love,rock n' roll.
csmusicblog@gmail.com
Monthly Mix Tape
Mission Statement
I guess you're old enough to know. Kids out on the east coast. Roughly twenty years old. Got coaxed out by a certain perfect ratio. Of warm beer to the summer smoke. And the meat loaf to the billy joel. Certain songs they get so scratched into our souls.
She goes low on the seats when she gets high in her car. She looks shallow but shes neck deep in the steamy dreams of the guys along the harbor bars. She's pulling out her shirttails and jacking up her socks. Stern and stoned and confident, coming up towards the jukebox. Born into the only songs that everybody finally sings along. B-1 is for the good girls. It's only the good die young. C-9 is for the making eyes. It's paradise by the dashboard light. D4 is for the lovers. B12 is for the speeders. And the hard drugs are for the bartenders and the kitchen workers and the bartender's friends. And they're playing it again. Ellen Foley gives us hope. Certain songs they get scratched into our souls.
I guess you're old enough to know. Kids out on the west coast are taking off their clothes. Screwing in the surf and going out to shows. They get high and ride around in gtos. I guess you're old enough to know. CERTAIN SONGS THEY GET SCRATCHED INTO OUR SOULS. - The Hold Steady
