Ode To Mickey Tettleton - m4w
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2008-05-22, 2:04AM EDT
You are somewhere out there, I know it, maybe having thoughts of our dear friend Mickey.
The catcher with the perpetual wad of chew in his lip.
I bet in his retirement he still chews it...and maybe you think of him still
Yes my memory sometimes scares me, the details I do remember.
I even remember that I never realized I would miss you - miss seeing you everyday.
Is that possible? To have a memory of something you should have felt but only did when it was too late?
When random events flipped what we had, forcing me to relive every moment I didn't say anything.
Of course, the events were not random to you - a marriage proposal only appears that way to an injured party.
I wish I had known you were seeing someone else, philosophizing about the world with him like you would with me.
I wish I had known before he became your soulmate. Maybe I could have sabotaged it.
But probably not. I was confused, shy and full of love that I wasn't ready to share with anyone.
He was not.
I tried to hate him, tried to feel upset but he was everything you would ever want.
I could see that
I held out hope that maybe it wouldn't work out. Maybe you would come back.
For a while I wasn't ready to share my love with anyone even more.
Because, you made it clear, it could have been me.
Those words stung more than you will ever know.
I still remember how the room when you called became one big background to your words
I remember it like I remember when I learned Princess Diane had died - the symptoms are the same
But I know you aren't leaving the OH state
And though you may not be specifically in Athens, I would not think of posting anywhere else.
I only did because I saw the 'Athens' as I floated by on CL
I guess you could say I am still a little shy.
No one will read this, least of all you.
And that is fine with me......but sometimes, I miss the thought of you.
I used to miss you.
Then I missed hearing from you.
Now, it is the thought of you I miss having.
I know you are happy and please know I am as well
I have learned to share my love.
And I learned because of you - because I didn't want to lose someone again before they had become something more to me.
Before they became special.
And I didn't lose her. And I am thankful I have her.
She has a lot of love to give and so do I.
I have a feeling we shall see each other again.
But maybe not.
That Fool Stanley
Admittedly, it was a slow day for missed connections. This one just reminded my of this Ryan Adams song, specifically the part where he remembers out loud the some of the thins she does...
' See how she moves through the door
How she loses her keys
How she loses her cool
Watching blackbirds scatter through the trees
How she flips from the back to the front
Oh, my God, I miss those things'
Ryan Adams - 'Hard Way To Fall' MP3