Craigslist Musical Dedication
Alchemical, Video, Archaeological Assistant
Date: 2009-07-13, 10:46PM PDT
Yes, this is certainly an unusual title for any job advertisement, and we�re looking for someone just as unusual.
We are based in St Helens, Oregon. We need someone who either lives locally, or who is willing to travel here a few days week (to start), and who can eventually work full time. What we are seeking a very special employee with a bit more imagination, more integrity and more concern for truth than most people. What we are offering is far more than a job, and � we hope � you�ll find this more of an avocation than a vocation.
Our research is independently funded. We are looking for an absolutely honorable, spiritually-centered and healthy individual who is not only looking to earn a paycheck, but who wants to (literally) change the world. This is a non-smoking workplace, but your life is your own. It is results we are looking for.
The short version: we are an independent video production company, which � during the course of filming a radical new science documentary � made a series of rather incredible discoveries (and these discoveries are on-going). Our breakthroughs represent a radical new view of an esoteric world history, and resulted in equally amazing technologies. We are now preparing to market some of these.
What are these technologies?
As amazing as our answer seems, we are not exaggerating. We have rediscovered the �elixir of life,� once known also as Amrita, Soma, and (through the European mythos) the �Holy Grail!� And that�s not all.
Quietly, we started a company to develop and market several products which resulted from these breakthroughs, and the sales of these alchemically-related products are being used to fund the completion of our documentary series. Recently we went public with some of our discoveries. Now we need some help to produce these products.
Can you work with shop tools and wood? Do you have a background in chemistry, archaeology or biology? Do you have a familiarity with lab safety, using a microscope or with chemical reagents? A person familiar with scientific disciplines is preferable.
Yet, such scientific training can often prevent one from dealing well with many paradigm shifts resulting from research such as ours. What we're up to will turn your world upside down!
Do you have a problem working with evidence of real-world ancient occult (occult meaning esoteric, or hidden; i.e., sacred) sciences and/or religions? Can you travel over a weekend or week if necessary? What if you were asked to climb down into a cave, or travel to an archaeologically-significant site across the Great Basin? Are you a certified diver? Discoveries have lead us to seek for answers in all sorts of places Anything can happen. Are you physically fit enough to carry gear under such circumstances. Are you sure-footed. All of these things and more may affect your ability to work with us.
To work with us you'd need more than a very wide range of skills. You must possess a quick and open mind, a curiosity to pursue truth (no matter where it leads), and the willingness to do whatever it takes to complete those jobs and tasks required responsibly. Skills you can develop, but the desire to learn and grow is part of one's personality. We will train you wherever needed. Skills with various power tools is a deal-breaker, and familiarity Macintosh-based graphics a plus. If your skills lie in the arenas of videography, special effects and/or animation, even better. Why?
We need one (or two) personal assistants willing to both learn and assist in any and all facets of the work we do here ' and that can be anything from assisting in manufacturing and shipping our products, to mailing boxes to clients, answering questions. For example, as mundane as the business part of our work is, this is not all we do. However, it is how we fund ourselves, and stay independent.
You may be asked to assist in acquiring video and still imagery, assist research, and so on. We will be willing to train our employees. Our Executive producer is a professional with many years of training experience in digital imaging and video/special FX.
All we discover we document. All we document and study, we use to build technologies. Your salary will eventually depend on how well (and quickly) you can accomplish what is required. This will be a part-time salary, but who knows where it will lead? This is (at least partly) up to you.
Think of this as an old style apprenticeship job, dealing with sacred-scientific/esoteric research and cutting edge alchemy.
If such an alternate and intimate work/learning environment doesn't freak you out, then let's talk.
You'll be contacted for a brief Q&A session. Then, if we think you're someone we might want to work with us, you'll be participating in a small telephone conference with three of the principles associated with our several companies. Finally, we'll meet and talk person-to-person, at our St Helens facility.
Interested? E-mail us. You may even find some of life's most elusive questions actually have answers.
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I was all set to rattle off a snarky comment about this manifesto, but there is just so much weirdness going on in this post I just sort of blanked out. But the truth is out there.
* Nada Surf - 'The Blankest Year' MP3
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