Certain Songs

After the events of the week, losing a friend and in the process making new, hopefully life long friends...I have done a lot of reminiscing. Mostly about one relationship, one girl...probably the love of my life.

I must have listened to this Matt Nathanson 50 times. One lyric kept resonating with me over and over...like it was ripped right out of my mind:
"I wake reminded love
How I just gave up
And how you moved on, how you moved on"

I remember giving up...and being so offended that she moved on...but looking back, what was she supposed to do? Wait forever while I figure myself out? God knows she would have been waiting a long time. I have replayed it a thousand times and a thousand different ways in my head. Not sure if anyone like that will ever come into my life again, but if I am that lucky I know that I won't give up. What good is heartbreak if you don't learn from it?

Here is the song I was referring to...try and not to be SO dazzled by my video directing skills that you don't hear the words...they are beautiful ;-)



In the party love,
Some band's playing hallelujah
Hallelujah
In the corner love
All night girls drink wine and try to sing along
I made a mess of things
The stops and in betweens
They weigh me down
You got someone new singing you your songs now

Sooner surrender
Then watch the last wall collapse
And sooner surrender
And our love will count for everything

In my sweetest dreams
It's just you and me
And we break wide
I wake reminded love
How I just gave up
And how you moved on, how you moved on

I'm waiting for something
I've waited for now
For the rolling canyons of love
And i'm tongue tied
And you're coming alive, coming alive

Sooner surrender
Then watch the last wall collapse
And sooner surrender
And our love will count for everything

I'm sorry that you've gone
So sorry that you've gone
I'm sorry that you've gone
Love
I'm sorry that you've gone
So sorry that you've gone away
You're a little bit right
More than a little bit right
With my arms around you

Sooner surrender
Then watch the last wall collapse
And sooner surrender
And our love will count for everything

Sooner surrender
Than watch the last wall collapse I know
Sooner surrender and our love will count for everything
Our love will count for everything
And I miss when you were everything

It astounds me how fast the years start to fly by as you get older. Time seemed to crawl at a snail's pace when I was kid. It felt like there were years gone by from one Christmas to the following one and the only thing I wanted was to speed up the clock so I could be 'big'.

Now that I am in my early 30's it is the exact opposite. Time is moving way too fast. Weeks turn into months and months into years in what seems like a way too rapid fashion.

I can't believe it has been 10yrs since my dad passed away. So much has changed...it feels like two lifetimes ago. I ddin't realize it at the time, but my pop was a huge influence on me as a music lover. I remember at the funeral the pastor saying that my dad worshiped two kings, God and Elvis. So true. He was an Elvis man through and through. It makes me so happy that he was able to go to Graceland a few months before the Cancer got the better of him...that lifted his spirits so much and seemed to get him through one last holiday season with us.

This song is probably one of the most beautiful songs ever written about the human experience. It's such a sad thing to watch somebody you love struggle with illness...the most helpless feeling in the world. Just another example of how music is such an integral part of my life...the soundtrack to my life. I can't imagine being any other way.



All this talk of getting old
It's getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I'm comin' down

And I hope you're thinking of me
As you lay down on your side
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

But I know I'm on a losing streak
'Cause I passed down my old street
And if you wanna show, then just let me know
And I'll sing in your ear again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too
Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead

All this talk of getting old
It's getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I'm comin' down

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too
Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead

But if you wanna show, just let me know
And I'll sing in your ear again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

Yeah, I know I'll see your face again
Yeah, I know I'll see your face again
Yeah, I know I'll see your face again
Yeah, I know I'll see your face again

I'm never going down, I'm never coming down
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more
I'm never coming down, I'm never going down
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more
(Repeat and Fade Out)