Certain Songs

hold me closer tiny dancer

- w4m - 42 (worthington)

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Date: 2009-10-05, 5:37PM EDT

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I saw you in the milk isle at giant eagle sunday with an older woman who was purchasing you groceries.i saw the spark in your eye, i feel like i would like a young man to have that spark for me. i want to wrap you in a blanket and carry you like a pappoose throughout the streets of worthington. my heart beating like a wardrum and my legs quivering like a baby fawn learning to walk. i noticed the blue jeans with the paint smears, and the bashful smile behind baby blue eyes and a mess of hair that is somehow irresistable. alrthough you look like a boy,there is a rugged mannish quality about you that i find irresistible. i know that you noticed me, our eyes met. at that moment a deep passion filled my loins unlike i have ever felt before. i was wearing the black shirt with the vneck cut very low. gold hoop earings ,black stretch pants and gold flats.i admire the innocence, it reminds me of my sons. i would like to buy you things and engage in loving romance. please contact me soon, for, like a fine wine, its only a matter of time till someone uncorks me.

******

OK, I have been doing these for a couple of years now, but I dare say that this line is the greatest I have ever seen posted in all of craigslistdom:

" i want to wrap you in a blanket and carry you like a pappoose throughout the streets of worthington"

How drunk/out of it would you have to be to re-read this to yourself out loud and STILL think it's a good idea to hit the POST button??

Also...I gotta believe this woman is higly unstable, and may God have mercy on the soul of the guy who "uncorks" her.

And now...the obligatory:


* Elton John - 'Tiny Dancer' MP3

Daniel at Planned Parenthood - w4m

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Reply to: pers-959536628@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-12-15, 9:29PM EST


You: The bearded, bescrubbed, tatooed office manager on duty at the local Planned Parenthood.

Me: The blonde female who came in for an annual exam this afternoon and is undoubtedly violating some code of privacy/ethics by trying to hit on you.

You kindly and thoroughly assisted me with all my requisite paperwork for today's visit. After handing you documents disclosing the intimate details of my personal health and sexual history, discussing my insurance coverage, and (for good measure) talking about my presidential preferences and voting status, I found myself wondering whether you were this friendly to everyone (read: single). I realize it's your job to find out how many sexual partners a girl has had and hand her a cup to pee in, but I felt like we might have had a special spark. Charm, confidence, the ability to multitask, and a heightened awareness of STDs are all very attractive qualities to me in a man, and provided you're not gay, I'm pretty sure our mutual openness regarding all things sexual would bode well for "outside the clinic" compatibility.

If you're interested and available, let's go have coffee/drinks sometime. (This is obviously a slightly unorthodox invitation, but I figured it was less objectionable coming from the patient than the provider.) If you want to wait until my test results come back to respond to this, that's fine too.

******

* Tortoise w/Bonnie 'Prince' Billy - 'Daniel'(Elton John Cover) MP3