I am Destroyer of Bands (Columbus)
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-11, 9:02AM EST
Are you in a band that you want out of but you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings?
Is your band going nowhere and you're tired of playing in a basement?
Do you have a band that's on the verge of making it big, but you don't have enough "Behind the Music Moments?"
Then you need to contact me. I have the ability to cause any band to implode. I don't know how I do it, I just know that it works. I play guitar. I'm a nice enough guy and have never been in a situation with a band where I've raised my voice. I don't try to run things, you don't have to play my songs...but rest assured, once I'm on board, people will start dropping out. It might be the bass player moving to another state. Then the replacement guy won't gel with the drummer, so he'll quit and then, man, the lead singer's just not feeling it and the band will dissolve. It's a knack. A talent. And I don't even need to join your band...I once auditioned for a band and not only didn't get the gig, but got the other guitarist fired.
So if you have a band and you think you're tight enough to bring me on board, then shoot me an e-mail. My influences range from punk to country.
Nine Inch Nails - 'The Great Destroyer' MP3