Craigslist Musical Dedication Of The Day
Craigslist personals: more loneliness and despair than a Kafka novel
Date: 2008-10-01, 7:27AM EDT
Oh, the humanity! I have been clicking around the various "personal" sections of this site for the past hour or so, and I must say: the level of collective angst, desperation, emotional need, and pain bubbling just beneath the surface is staggering. It's like a David Lynch movie, only without any midgets. I was in a decent mood before, but now I just want to blow my fucking head off. Speaking of which, if Kurt Cobain were alive today, I think he would be writing songs about the psychic torment of the Craigslist community. I haven't seen agony and despair like this since communist-era Russia. This site should have pop-up ads for Prozac and vodka.
My point... what was my point? Oh yes -- let me say, from the bottom of my heart:
To all the "young, great looking, well-hung" guys who just woke up horny and alone and thought that some hot random woman might want to drop by your apartment and fuck you: yeah right, go back to sleep. She ain't coming.
To the "hot, blonde, petite woman" who just "needs" a Brazilian guy over 6'1" with an 8-inch cock, a substantial income, and no "diseases or drama": well, honey, as long as you are so incredibly open-minded about it, I'm sure you will find true love...
To the "28yo, SWM nice guy" complaining that he can't get a date: join the fucking club, buddy. Neither can I.
To the "missed connection" guy who thought he "shared a moment" with that chick at Trader Joe's: bro, she was just there buying her soy milk. She probably didn't even see you.
To all the guys who claim to be into "tantric sex" and massage and just want a partner to "share" it with: guess what, you are not fooling anyone. Dressing it up in spiritual terms does nothing to disguise the fact that you just want to get laid. Again, join the club.
I realize that my advice is worthless, but I thought you might take comfort in the fact that I care.
******
Clem Snide - 'Loneliness Finds Her Own Way' MP3
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clem snide
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