I caught you with my husband, but didn't catch ur name - w4w - 28 (Divorce-ville)Reply to: email@example.com [?]
Date: 2008-09-23, 1:42AM EDT
So I come home early from work to surprise my husband......and we both know I got the surprise. I love walking into my house, dropping my keys on the counter, checking the mail ....but wait.... is that music from the bedroom. WTF is he doing........I shouldn't have asked.
So I go upstairs.......not sneaking, mind you because it's my house and I honestly had no idea that I was going to find my husband on OUR bed with his goods in your nasty mouth.
So here is my missed connection for you:
I'm sorry my fist wouldn't stop connecting with your face for like 5 minutes. I'm sorry I didn't catch your name while I was dragging you by your nasty, bad dye-job hair, down my stairs and out my front door. Sorry my foot didn't meet your ass less than 10 times. Sorry you had to sit on the front lawn naked while my loving husband found your nasty clothes and car keys.
Sorry I was ready for round two on the front lawn and wanted to talk to you more, but I was too busy kicking the crap outta my husband who was soooo concerned with getting your clothes and keys to you.
Sorry about the flat head screwdriver in your car tire, and I'm gonna need that back- it was a Craftsman and it goes with my set! Sorry about the I'm going to hunt you down goodbye rant and rave while my husband was holding me back.
I'm sorry we didn't make a better connection. I really think there is something there. I got this feeling in my stomach that I haven't had for such a long time. WTF seriously.......Respond to this add, after your face is healed, I'm sure he would love to see you again- I'll give you his contact info- his hotel room, where he'll be living from now on. You won't have to worry about any more missed connections from me.
Just so I know it's really you, tell me what color sheets were ON my bed......oh wait you probably didn't notice since your face was all up in his goods. Ok ummm why dont you tell me what I was wearing while I was kicking your butt. Oh, you didn't catch that either, you had your eyes closed when I was punching your face. Ok so tell me my dirtball husband's name, that is if you know it or was this a NSA, FWB, 1NS from the casual encounters section?
Listen Nasty, I know you are probably a nice person, you just made a bad choice. I obviously did marrying dirtball. So 'til we meet again, I will be thinking of our time together and longing to kick your ass somemore!
Hugs and Kisses,
The Wife Who Kicked Your Butt
P.S. You left your nasty grannie panties in my house! Just so you know for the next time you meet-he likes thongs!
For all you CL's who are wondering why my poor husband cheated, wasn't because he didn't get it all the time.....we're talking 10+ times a week. Wasn't cause I'm not good in bed......I am. Wasn't cause I'm fat, let myself go, or don't give him what he needs.......I'm fit(5'9" 125), hot(blonde/blue), employed(100k a year), own MY OWN home(350k), and OWN MY own car(BMW). Who knows why.......I sure don't and he can't seem to come up with a reason other than boo-hoo I'm sorry.
Any single guys out there!? LOL
I am in NO WAY condoning cheating...but man, c'mon...it's called a hotel!
Squeeze - 'Tempted' MP3