Missed Connections musical dedication of the day

Michelle Webb, you are a junkie lunatic piece of shit

Reply to: pers-737734351@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-06-30, 10:31AM EDT

Well, I tried to be nice about this, and get some closure the way normal adults do... you know, actually talking to someone when you break up, rather than sending an e-mail with no explanation. For literally months, I've tried to contact you and explain why it was important to me to have some kind of closure, and understanding of where you were coming from.

By your own admission, I was kind and supportive of you when you were going through a difficult time. That is what makes it all the more confusing and painful that you fucking dumped me over an e-mail with no explanation, you lunatic junkie cunt.

Anyways, time has clearly proved that my feelings are of absolutely no regard, and you have/had little or no respect for me as a human being. I've decided to write the meanest, cruelest thing I can think of.

Hopefully, you or someone you know will read it, and you will feel like shit. I know this is petty, but you are a total fucking cunt and you deserve it. I can not believe that just a handful of weeks before you dumped me over a fucking e-mail, I spent $300 bucks taking you on a weekend out of town. I can't believe that you refused to acknowledge that something like that is supposed to be the sort of thing that brings two people closer together. Even if you decided that being with me wasn't the right thing for you, you should have had the simple human decency to have dumped me to my face, and you should have given me a reason, rather than just leaving me to try and guess what the deal was. Ah... you are a junkie lunatic piece of shit, though... I should have expected it.

Here goes:

After some consideration, I shouldn't be so surprised that you acted so fucked up.

During the years that most of us learned how to treat other people, you were abusing or were addicted to a variety of drugs. You went from approximately a decade of substance abuse to being involved with a guy for three years, then dating another guy, and me.

You're not a bad person by any means. You're just broken after your psychosocial development was retarded by your years of drug addiction.

In other words, you can take the junk out of the junkie, but you can't make up for a decade of fucked-up psychosocial development.

Your new tattoo is ridiculously tacky. It would be more appropriate on a biker's whore. Then again, you probably sold yourself for smack at some point, so perhaps it isn't so far off base. I can't believe I fucked you without a condom. You are the first and last time I get involved with damaged goods.

Good luck getting your degree, if you can't even handle a remedial math class.

If any of this seems overly harsh, take a look back at the time we spent together, and look at everything I did to try and make you feel happier and alleviate at least some of the tension your work situation was causing you. Then compare it to the hateful way you ended our relationship. You're fucked up.

Scars from shooting up are sexy!

Wait a second... no, they are just gross.

In the future, I will regard such scars as the physical manifestation of how fucked up a junkie's psyche is. Sort of like the bright colors on a poisonous animal found in nature... it means stay the fuck away.

Oh, and your teeth? Good thing you don't smile very much, because they are grey, crooked, and disgusting.

You are a fucking miserable cunt. I hope you are lonely and sad all of the time... unfortunately, you are attractive, so there will always be some sucker out there (like me) who will try to see past the scars from the junk and the mental illness, and convince himself there is a worthwhile person underneath all of that.


Man! This one is going into the 'Angry Tirade' wing of the Craigslist Hall Of Fame FOR SURE!

The Dandy Warhols - 'Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth'

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