sensitive guy seeks soulmate - 55 (nw Cols/Dublin)
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2008-06-24, 11:07AM EDT
My life is constantly evolving. How about yours?
CL has helped me refine the parameters defining my quest
for a most special woman. Most of you reading this will
'click on' to another posting, and that's perfectly OK.
For the one individual this speaks to, I would love to
hear from you and open a dialogue -- perhaps we can
share much and help each other over time.
Are you very articulate, a woman who creatively assembles
thoughts, and is bothered when words are abused or misused?
Does seeing spelling or grammar errors in emails drive
you completely crazy?
Are you sensitive to emotions, valuing the ability to
carefully choose words, to express feelings and thoughts
with clarity? Do you love hearing words spoken,
understanding degrees of nuance and subtlety?
Perhaps poetry brings great joy for you... reading,
writing, being read to. Reflecting, absorbing,
describing the feelings drawn forth.
Is your life missing connection? Do you crave the the
sense that you are connected with another being so closely
that words become unnecessary, serving instead to enrich
the experience of being together?
Is there 'romance' missing, the warming of your spirit
and your heart from knowing a touch both gentle and caring?
Do circumstances hold you held captive, and you are
only now considering options leading to more freedom for
Do you love nature in all its wonderful diversity? Do you
value doing good for others without any thought of return?
The person described above is me (except, of course,
I am a male). It's safe to say that I'm not the stereotypical
'macho guy'. I am instead a creative and artistic individual
with extremely diverse interests, background and skills.
There are personal factors I need to share in a spirit of
I am a vintage individual (of sorts) 55 years old, in a
second marriage that began with much promise of a rich
and full relationship.
The marriage is now extremely constrained by my wife's chronic
illness. A lifetime of sublimated and extremely traumatic
abuse has now emerged, in part because we established a
'safe place' together. Wrestling with the wraiths from her
past from a secondhand viewpoint perspective has been
extremely draining, causing significant impacts to my own
health at times.
There has not been physical intimacy for years and it will
never be again -- even the most basic kind (kissing),
causes unbearably painful physical responses resulting
from chronic illnesses (nearly twenty 'one in a million' conditions).
In addition, cognitive impairment that has surfaced adds a
third component, as the woman I fell in love with now
grapples daily with functioning coherently for even a
For the past 8 years, I have been the caregiver. This
resulted in internalized stress and some health issues
of my own. I am now on the mend, but realize that proceeding
along the path as it was will become progressively less
healthy. Significant changes are needed to sustain health,
personal growth, and restoration of life's joys.
I am committed at this point to supporting and staying with
my wife. She deserves nothing less. Perhaps at some future
time the literal support I provide will transition to
a form of managed care, or I will reach a state where
remaining in the situation would leave me unable to manage.
At that time, other options may enter the equation.
I am also finding renewed incentive to care for myself
due to this situation -- to fill the internal void normally
nourished by a healthy relationship, a merging of soul,
body and spirit with another.
It is my hope and belief that this alternative relationship
can help me survive, thrive, and strengthen me so I can
continue to support my wife without burning out.
I face a very real conundrum. What should I do?
If this reaches you and resonates on a very personal level,
please contact me and we can begin a conversation.
Perhaps you've even read an earlier posting about my
situation and held off on responding for some reason.
Maybe this time you will send an email my way.
I realize this will only touch a very few, perhaps even
one warm and caring individual who may be the
warp to my weft, the yin to my yang.
In keeping with the nature of my quest, your reply will
come from the email: soulfulquest
Are you out there somewhere?
Wow, this is like the "War And Peace" of missed connections. Very smart though...why wait til your wife actually dies from her illness before getting wife number 3 lined up. I appreciate his pro activeness.
Faith No More - 'Epic'