Certain Songs

The Divorced Bachelor..

Any Takers - 32

(COLUMBUS ONLY)

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Date: 2010-03-01, 12:19AM EST

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OK so I am not trying to steal this straight off of the reality TV show "The Bachelor"
There will be no Rose sermonizes or anything like that. However This is what I am looking do.
I am holding a 20 day sign up for my very own personal bachelor competition.

I am a divorced Male 32.
I am 5'6" Tall
I weight a little over 200lbs and when I say a little I mean a little. 207 is the exact number
I have a full time job.
I have my own car.
I have my own place.
I have my own bills.


Criteria for you to enter into this "Divorced Bachelor Competition"
You should have you own car
You should be shorter than 5'7"
Your weight is your weight. I am not picky just searching for someone to spend the rest of my life with.
You should have direction in your life. You should know the road you have been down and want to be down.
You Should NOT be afraid of commitment.
You should be Single. (Married woman or people in the middle of DIVORCE need not apply)

This is What I am looking for.
I am looking for 4-10 ladies who are hopeless romantics that are not afraid to lay it all on the line.
I want to start this Mid to Late March.
I am the Divorced Bachelor.
I am looking to get to know 4-10 ladies for a thirty day period.
At the end of the thirty day period I will choose one of the ladies to propose to (Remember the not afraid of Commitment above)
Now from the proposal step. 25-30 days after that we will have a beach wedding either in Florida or somewhere tropical.

Now some of the Need to Know before replying things
At NO point will there be SEX of any kind before proposing to one of the ladies who enter this "Divorced Bachelor Competition" .
There will be ZERO Trips to my home while this competition is going on.
All dates we have will be PAID BY ME AND BY ME ONLY.

******

Quite possibly one of the worst ideas in the history of dating.


* Liz Phair - 'Divorce Song' MP3

Courthouse romance? Could be. If this guys pulls this off, he is my hero...best of luck brother, best of luck!

******

Courtroom 13A - m4w - 37

You were wearing a black, business suit and looked HOT!! I sat next to you and we whispered for a few minutes. Nobody cried!! :) You know where to find me...

******

And I have no idea why this was the first song that sprang mind...but it was, and who am I to argue with my mind over Greg Dulli?

07WhatJailIsLike.mp3

The Craigslist missed connections are an endless source of entertainment for me. It's like really bad(meaning good) reality tv without having to actually watch tv. Some time back I decided to mesh my two loves, the missed connections section and music. The rules are simple. I pick some random, weird post from the local 'Missed Connections' section and then post it WITH a song that for some reason my musically obsessed mind has linked to this poor person's futile attempt to reconnect.

Not only is it fun AND educational, but it will do wonders for your self esteem...really. It could always be worse, the missed connections section reminds me of this everyday.

I actually forgot JUST how much fun these are to do...I must make this a semi-regular feature here.

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Bob Evans waiter - m4m - 55


You wait on me sometimes for breakfast. I am a big tipper. Don't know which side of the fence you swing on, but if it is ours, would love to hook up with you sometime. This is the Bob Evans on campus. If you tell me what I look like and how much I leave, I will know it is you.

******

And there you have it...don't you feel better about your own life already? No matter how bad your week was, at least you are not THAT guy.

hrowingCopper-11-Waitress_1_.mp3

Now this is what I call Instant Karma! Buy 4 Dane Cook tickets and your entire family gets sick!

Wow...almost 10yrs on and our hero is still carrying a torch for his missed connection...I feel his pain though, the 'right girl at the wrong time' has been a recurring motif in my life. Best of luck my friend...I am keeping my fingers crossed for a happy ending :-)

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Jerrilyn, a Missed Connection in 1999 - m4w

Jerrilyn,

1998-99: I was in LA on a consulting assignment, and bought something in your shop. You'll remember me as dark-haired, moustached and tall. We talked, went to dinner and even though I was involved with someone else in another city, we became close until just before I left town in early 1999.

There isn't a day that goes by without my thinking of you, your elegance, your wonderful mind, your amazing smile, and what a fool I was not to stay here with you. I'm finally back in LA, but your store is gone, and I haven't been able to find you.

Should you see this, and if you'll accept my apology, I'd welcome the chance to begin again.

P/

P.S. And so I'll know it's you:
1) Where did you spend New Years Eve without me in 1998?
2) What was the name of your shop, what street was it on and what did you sell?
3) What was the last thing you said to me in our last telephone conversation?

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Upon reading this post, the New Pornographers 'Challengers' sprang to mind...or at least one specific lyric did...so I am going to go with that as my musical selection...

'you live with someone...i live with somebody too'

03challengers.mp3

'

Today's entry is a simple, heartfelt missed connection. I think every single guy in LA has a list similar to this for a single girl in LA. SO MANY lonely souls bouncing around this town.

Best of luck my friend...

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Wish list - w4m

To see you again.
Enjoying a cup of coffee with you.
To talk with you.
To feel you in my arms.
To share our lives together.
To kiss you.

Perhaps one day, my list will be fulfilled. I am quite sure my heart would only love you even more than I do now when/if that day arrives. The 'if' part is because I don't know how you feel about me.

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A painfully obvious choice for the musical portion of the program:

PEARLJAM-0505-Wishlist.MP3

Um, wow. This a rather descriptive missed connection. I am proud to say it comes from the Columbus page! It came to me as a request from a friend in Columbus...and I have it on good authority that she is NOT the girl in question.

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You drive a Honda with a broken window - m4w - 47

You just moved into a building I own down the street from my office. You have a little daughter with an interesting name. I don't normally mix business with pleasure, but I think this is a special circumstance. I want to roll you around in a baby pool full of honey and tell you how much I want you. I want to powder you like a donut- then tell you how sweet you are-and I want you to tell me that you're bad for me-then I'll tell you "I know, but it's worth it". I want to wrap you in plastic like a lollipop, then take the plastic off and enjoy you like I would enjoy a lollipop. Slowly.

I've been wanting to talk to you about this ever since you filled out the application. Ever since I talked to your dad. I want to be your dad. But only in a sexy "call me daddy" way. I don't want to tell you what to do. Unless you want me to. I hope you read this. God I hope you read this.

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This is the FIRST song that came to me...i think it works extraordinarily well!

Live - 'Freaks'

Hmmm....I am always curious as to why someone posts a missed connections entry when they do. Like this guy for example. This festival was at the very beginning of August...at least I think it was. The three days of heavy alcohol consumption has sort of clouded my brain...and in fact I was so drunk when Pearl Jam played, I may have actually talked to this guy and told him my name was Megan...i honestly couldn't tell you. Well...to help relive that great weekend, and since the Hold Steady show is this week...i will post my Lolla slideshow from this past festival.

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Lollapalooza 2007 - m4w - 30

Hi there,
looking for Megan from LA, who was at Lollapalooza with a friend, we met there and watched Pearl Jam together. we were born at same date. 31st of august 77.
i was enough stupid for not getting your phone number. she was a teacher.

i hope i'll find her over craigslist..

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The Hold Steady - 'Killer Parties'

There is nothing really outstanding about this entry, other than it reminded me of how much I miss having a dog...or more specifically I miss Baxter and Marley, who I lost in the fire. They were the best dogs EVER...i know, everyone says that, but in this case it's true! I don't even have any pictures of them, as those were lost as well.

I already have the name of my next dog picked out, Nico...as in of The Velvet Underground. I only know she will be a rather small dog, unless I win the lottery and can somehow afford a house. Maybe a boston terrier? Something with character...I think I will stick with the name...I will know Nico when I see her! So for today, my favorite dog song and my favorite Nico song both make the cut...a Two for Thursday!

PS
And a totally shallow and superficial benefit of having a dog, is that it would increase my odds of being a missed connections EXPONENTIALLY!

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Tall Guy Walking Yellow Lab - w4m - 26

It was nice to see you again. Where have you been?
Next time we meet, let's chat a while. Meet me at the pool and we'll go together. You know which one I am, ;-)

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Seven Mary Three 'My Favorite Dog'


Nico 'These Days'

I am going to go out on a limb and say this missed connection attempt has absolutely ZERO chance of success. NADA.ZILCH.

But it does give me an excuse to play one of my favorite Ash songs.

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Kung Fu guys at Stoner Park - m4m


What's up with you guys practicing Kung Fu (or whatever) at Stoner Park in the mornings? Very hot. Any of you interested?

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OK. Once is bad, but it could just be a pathetic one time happening. Twice, and I see a pattern developing. So I am using today's edition as a sort of public service announcement. Here is another failed groupie, a lesbian this time, using craigslist to
communicate their obsession for a rock star. Isn't that what myspace is for? You fools are taking up valuable space for the rest of us, the non-rock star portion of the population who desperately peruse the missed connections every day to see if today is our big day. Please in the future, let's keep the missed connections section as it was intended to be, a stalking tool for average joes.

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Tegan and Sara Show 10.29.07 - w4w - 27

Sara, I saw you perform at the Orpheum 10.29.07 and waited for you in the alley after the show. I told you, "You're so hot," but I think I embarassed myself as well as you. I meant so say that you are an awesome performer and that I'm a really big fan. But flustered at seeing you so close and in person for the first time, all I could get out was a very creepy "You're so hot." I still think you're hot as a mofo, but I think you're an even better musician. Plus, you have great style. Sorry if I embarassed you.

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Ouch. Today's edition is brief and painful. Maybe the three words that when put together become THE MOST ego-deflating phrase a single guy can ever hear. And on a side note I can't believe this song is 10yrs old...and check out Rivers...he must have been in his Brian Wilson phase.

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The Truth Is... - w4m - 31

I'm a lesbian.


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I think I may be in love...a girl who loves the 'missed connections' section as much as I do...this is like a love letter to missed connections. I think it's brilliant. And I feel her pain...we ALL want to be a missed connection, only she was brave enough to say it out loud. Not sure why I chose this song...but it came to me instantly...and as an added bonus, the homemade video is so bad its good.

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I wish I didn't have to take this step... - w4m - 26

Look, anyone with an office job knows that work is boring and the internet is a great diversion. When our server crashed I had no idea how the workforce prior to the mid-90s were able to make it through the working day. I guess one had to be a little more creative in wasting company time. In any case, the point is, I spend part of my working day checking craigslist in the event that someone posted a missed connection for me.
I'm not sure what I would do if I discovered a missed connection for me; however, I do know that I would feel pretty goddamned fantastic. So, I started deconstructing each missed connection. I have deduced that in order for a missed connection to occur I would have to take several steps. I would have to go out more. I would have to venture forth solo once in awhile. I would have to make eye contact and occasional conversation with strangers. I would have to be a little more mysterious. And, these last two steps I am reticent to move forward on, I would have to make my appearance more noticeable and kind of obstruct people in a way found endearing and/or exciting.
So, I started walking to and from work. I started throwing out my A-game flirt material. I started making eye contact with anyone around (some girls seem to find this to be a challenge of sorts). I started going out more. In fact, I started accepting any invitation extended to me and when no plans are evident, I will go out alone and see what happens. I already have red hair, so I haven't altered my appearance. And, I haven't purposely obstructed anyone (it sort of happens as I am a klutz).
But, after all of that, no missed connection. Granted, since following my missed connections plan, this has been the craziest month of my life. I have had more things going on and with a wider spectrum of people than at any point during my time living in LA. I have had many dates and many groin touching sessions. In fact, one guy thought he was my boyfriend. But, no missed connection.
What am I doing wrong?
Why won't someone find me attractive and instead of talking to me or asking me out or getting my number, why won't they go home and think about me and reach out to me via craigslist?
Can someone please have a missed connection with me and then we can work from there? Thanks.

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I was talking with friends about 'Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind Today'....so I am blaming the romanticism of the day's selection on that. Here is today's post and song, a star crossed lovers edition...i set the song to Edward Scissorhands...just because it's an all timer for me, and I think Ed is the original 'emo kid'

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You'll always have a special spot in my heart - w4m - 30

Even though that long and winding road that leads to your door has seemed to disappear, the pool of tears is drying up. Sadness and Bitterness packed their bags and moved on leaving a sense of happiness behind. I'm glad you are moving on with your life and will always wish you the best no matter what. Your impact upon my heart will always be felt. Of course there is always going to be a what if but hey thats to be expected when you walk away from your soul mate right? If it was meant to be we'll meet again later on in life sans road blocks, if not then at least I learned that angels do walk amongst us because i was once in the arms of one. Love you :)

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Here is a simple, understated, yet eloquent missed connections post....proving that even vampires need love. The soundtrack is the Butthole Surfers classic 'Dracula From Houston'

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At Universal Horror Nights - w4m

Looking for cute Vampire at Universal Studios. I met you on October 6 in Old London. I would like to meet again.


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This one falls under the category of 'only in LA'...you know, its the same old story...boy meets transsexual...is thoroughly confused...years later he realizes that he may not be such a catch, and starts to think that he should have married said transsexual when he had the chance...a real heartbreaker.

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Tracy Beautiful Black TS girl

I knew you in the early 90s you were the best thing that ever happened to me ,if I had been more of a man I would have married you and said screw what others thought. Hope you're well.

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I can't even tell you why when I read this I thought of the song I chose...but I did. Maybe it's just because it's a beautiful song. Maybe because I was listening to the Stevie Wonder song I love on the High Fidelity soundtrack. My mind works in mysterious ways...best not to dwell on it :-)

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Cute girl who asked me about the perfumes at tjmax - m4w - 29

You asked me about the perfumes I was getting at TJMax this SUNDAY evening...and then we bumped into each other again later that evening...I need to get some more perfumes, but need someone to help me choose some...was thinking if you can assist me in doing so..respond to me with the location wer we bumped into each other again just to make sure that you are the same person..Laterz.

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Had to pick this one today, seeing as how I went to Ohio State and I live on Saticoy...but I didn't author this, let the record show...just reposted it with a sountrack. And the video I found was taken about about 20 minutes from where I used to live...yep, Circleville...home of the biggest Pumpkin Festival in the country!

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Ohioan High School Teacher at Blockbuster on Saticoy! Sat! - m4w - 44

Hey,

I was the guy in the OSU sweatshirt with the big teenager! I thought that you were very cute! I didn't have a card, neither did you. Don't move back to Ohio yet...we might have a thing...???

What do you think?

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The thing about craigslist is...you ALWAYS have to read a post all the way through. When this one started out I thought it was sort of romantic how he remembered in such detail all of her movements...then it just got creepy...really creepy! Thank God for craigslist...its been making me feel better about my own life for years now.

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Starbucks Storefront Window... - m4w

at 26th and Wilshire. You were there on Friday afternoon, alone, reading and seated inside at the bar in front of the window. I noticed you when I ordered my coffee and went outside and sat down right across from you on the sidewalk. After a while you must have noticed me noticing you. You propped your feet on the rail, raising your knees slightly and let me stare under your skirt. Pink panties, very, very sexy and you crossed your legs, twitched around, uncrossed them. Was I discreet enough? Did anyone else notice?

I should have stopped you when you got up to leave. I'd like a refill? How about you?

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I am going to make this, or try my best to make this, a daily feature. I love the craigslist missed connections section...I love music...why not combine the two?

So here we go...i will cut and past some wonderful piece of drama from the missed connections forum, and then attach a song or video as the perfect soundtrack...good times, good times

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Leaving Detour in a black truck - w4m - 22

you were the passenger, your mohawk was undone and you asked us who we went there to see, justice? well we saw everyone kinda but responded with "your mom". anyways you look fun, let's kick it

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The Silver Jews
Punks In The Beeerlight



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